Monday, January 23, 2006

And They Say Women Can Never Make Up Their Mind

For those who've been wondering (a few, and thank you so much for being concerned) the blog hiatus was not due to some sudden calamity, but merely a bout of deep internet inertia, lack of a bloggable life, and guilt over emails not answered and papers not written. So now that I have answered all my pending emails (yay), had an interesting weekend, and woken up early enough to have the entire day to do research work, I can proceed to blog, guilt-free.

I had been thinking of writing about my gym adventures, but that should wait a few days, because I've decided to follow Pidus' excellent advice of pacing out my blog posts. So first off the weekend.

Totally unanticipated fun. Which means resolution to finish long due work goes out of the window, but some much needed social contact established. I was planning to spend my Friday evening working or at the most with a quiet dinner with S and Em, but an email from S and some frantic calling put paid to those thoughts. It seems that we were invited to a party, and S decided that we should make an appearance. Now the party wasn't as straightforward as it seems, neither our history with the person inviting us.

The girl, let's call her Jgirl, happens to be the ex-girlfriend of Soto, an interesting, perplexing, at times annoying girl who's my age, someone who's alternated between desperation for marriage and merrily living life with her dog, taking off to far-flung places, and generally surrounding herself with patchouli, meditation, nature-love. She's also Jewish, and on Friday night, she was helping a Jewish student organization host a potluck dinner in her building and decided to invite us. Now, given that she is Soto's ex, someone he's on very civil terms with, but not terribly keen to spend time with, I was surprised that both S and Soto wanted to go there. But apparently the attraction for Soto were the Jewish girls in attendance, and S wanted food.

So off we went, and besides a common Mexican friend of ours who also came, S, Soto, and I were the only non-Jewish persons in the room. For me, this was great, because I've never been to a Jewish gathering before, and was very curious as to how people with extremely diverse backgrounds relate to each other on the basis of shared Jewish cultural and religious mores. The food at the potluck was very eclectic, and all vegetarian, which I guess was because it would be impossible to be absolutely sure of kosher guidelines being followed for each dish brought in. There was some traditional challah bread, which was very yummy. There was no music in keeping with Shabbat observances, which starts with sunset on Friday.

And the students had very eclectic backgrounds, a hot, fabulously well-dressed girl from Russia, a very affluent Iranian Jewish girl, a sleazy player type from Israel, a very sweet and chic girl from Canada, and a tall Greek Jewish girl from New York, though most of them had lived in America all their lives. Of course, besides celebrating the Shabbat, a gathering of young, eligible, single men and women can be very interesting to the participants for its own sake. Especially if you are from a traditional Jewish family where you are expected to marry only Jewish men/women. So of course, there was much mingling and aiming to impress. More than one person mentioned JDate, and I wouldn't be surprised if nearly all of them had profiles up there (I knew Jgirl did). and in this eager atmosphere, Soto found himself surrounded by a host of very attractive choices. But then, he started crossing out the options one by one. Sweet Canadian girl was a bit too posh for him, Greek girl too tall, the Russian girl was cornered by the sleazy Israeli boy.

I guess Soto has become hopelessly confused with women and unable to decide about what he really wants. Em says Soto is a big danger to men around him because he cannot make up his mind, and then he is a rival to everyone else in their pursuit of women. Agreed, and over the last few months his attention and memory span with regard to women has dropped drastically. If I was a woman interested in getting to know Soto romantically, I'd be seriously pissed, because even as he talks to one woman, he's looking over her shoulder to check out another. And if within the first few minutes he decides she wouldn't be willing to sleep with him immediately (and I mean pronto), he moves on double speed. I think it's totally fine that he wants to merely find a woman to hook up with, but the restlessness in doing so is not attractive to anyone.

This was amply in display later, as all of us (including Jgirl and a bunch of folks we met there) moved from the party to a club in Santa Monica. And there, instead of concentrating on Canadian girl (attractive and interested) or Greek girl (very friendly), Soto continued to wonder why the sexily dressed Russian girl hadn't joined us (duh, she was with sleazy guy). Aaaaargh! And if this wasn't enough Jgirl decided that she still had feelings for her ex-boyfriend and kept hovering around him, butting into his conversations, flirting with him.

Sure enough on Sunday, his eagerness to get laid backfires on him. So with Em's help we had managed to convey Soto's phone number to the girl he met in Em's cousin's party. She calls up on Friday, they decide to go out on Friday. Sunday morning at 6:30 am (an ungodly hour if there ever was one) she calls him up and begs him to come and pick her up from a hotel where she had gone to attend a party, and where her acccompanying friend and a bunch of others were too stoned to leave. He picks her up from the hotel and drops her home, where she asks him to stay and starts a verbal sexual banter, which makes him think that she wants it to lead to something more. However, she continues talking and starts telling him how she has a multitude of admirers, how she made past boyfriends wait months for sex, and how she didn't think he was macho enough.

Fed up, Soto left her house, resolving never to call again. But given his talent for overlooking the right girls and landing up with the wrong girls (we shook our heads over his relationship with Jgirl) I wouldn't be surprised if he starts a disastrous relationship with this girl. I'm being too harsh on him. He's very sweet, and an incredibly kind, generous boy, but hasn't a clue when it comes to women. He thinks he's playing them, whereas all the time they end up playing him.

On Saturday we went to a club for a party organized by a student organization at the university. The party was fun, pretty uneventful, we met tons of old friends as well as some fairly new ones. I convinced Bulgarian economist guy to come, and he said he had lots of fun and was glad I pestered him. We wandered off into a conversation about happiness and what makes us happy, and he said that to be 18 and in love is true happiness. Well for me, to be 80 and in love is also happiness I guess. I don't know if the innocence and naivete of adolescence is all that can provide us happiness. The joy of discovery and new experiences, growing wisdom and seeing things from a new light at every age milestone these are all constituents of happiness for me.

So I ran into Steph, the guy we ran into here as well, and true to form, he hugged me warmly and continued to talk to me as he forgot to greet S. I saw S's face contort into a scowl, and he later complained about how rude Steph is. I don't think he was deliberately rude because he did wish a very warm goodbye to S. Just that sometimes, people tend to greet those they know better and become oblivious to those they know less.

I also had a watermelon martini at the party, which was red, with a cherry dropped into the glass, and looked very cool and posh. I'm usually not much of a martini girl, unless I'm able to specify exactly what brand of vodka, gin or other liqueur I want in it, but they do look tres sophisticated in clubs and bars. A Swiss girl had a fabulous looking drink in her hand which was ocean blue in colour and was served in a tall glass. I asked her what it was called and she said "Adios Motherfucker!" Whoa! helluva drink to order. Picture this, pesky sleazy boy, sidles up to you and says "Cool drink, what is it?", and you smile a haughty smile, dig in your Sergio Rossi boots and say "Adios, @$#%@!%%#*@%!" Too bad it tastes like a Long Island Ice Tea. A drink that's just a sorry excuse for a bar to get rid of its shittiest alcohol that no one ever orders. Don't believe me? Ask them to put Stoli, Bombay Sapphire, Sauza, and Bacardi Gold and see how the bartender's face changes.

And then on Sunday, in a very relaxed finale to the entire weekend, we went sailing with a friend of S on her boyfriend's boat. Calm sea with some wind, ample sunshine and good company. Such are the pleasures of harnessing the wind and setting ourselves afloat on little specks of white in a vast ocean.


Blogger Urmea said...

Yay, good to have you back to posting :)
Oh gosh I wish this had happened when Danny was in LA, you should hear his JDate stories [shudder]!
Hmm, I am still not sure I know the one mixed drink that I like above all else, I had this fabulous version of a Sidecar a couple of months back in a downtown Oakland lounge, but the very next week it was a different bartender and the drink sucked! I must admit I am a sucker for tiny umbrellas and bright colors. Its the magpie in me I guess! LOL.

4:37 PM  
Anonymous Sanity Starved said...

I was quite alarmed at the title (I can't imagine someone saying that to you! :D)

Everything sounds extremely nice!

5:39 PM  
Blogger Adagio For Strings said...

Holy mother! When she writes she goes nuts!

6:29 PM  
Blogger thalassa_mikra said...

Urmi, you seem to be back in form as well! That's great. Oh, Danny would have loved this, so many eligible Jewish girls in one room. He has JDate stories, how cool, do tell :).

Oh the cutest drinks ever are at Duke's in Malibu, with all sorts of juices and layers of colours, and of course the tiny umbrellas. I'm a sucker for drinks with pimento-stuffed olives though.

Pidus, no one ever gets to accuse me of not making up my mind. I can get dressed in 5 minutes flat, speed through shopping aisles in 10, and never agonized over whether I liked a man or not.

Adagio, yes I waver between extremes here.

9:53 PM  
Blogger K said...

A drink that's just a sorry excuse for a bar to get rid of its shittiest alcohol that no one ever orders. Don't believe me? Ask them to put Stoli, Bombay Sapphire, Sauza, and Bacardi Gold and see how the bartender's face changes.
Great to see yu back.
PS : Ask a man to decide which flavour of ice-cream he wants, trust me its worse than asking to him to choose between Playboy Playmates. And as we all know, unless you're Colin Farell you don't get those!

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Sanity Starved said...

Yes, ma'am! :D

5:47 AM  
Blogger Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Your friend is spoilt for choice, you mean. Lucky so-and-so.

Your comment is far more interesting. You can whizz through a shopping aisle in ten minutes? Come over here and indoctrinate the wimmin in my life .. please please PLEASE!

And hey - ice-cream flavour? Super Cornetto with the choc centre. Or crunchy butterscotch. The hell with the Playboy Playmates!


10:44 PM  
Blogger thalassa_mikra said...

K, feels great to be back. I do believe you about the icecreams, though if it is my boyfriend he'd get them all! You should see him do his little happy dance when there's an icecream sale at the grocery store :).

Oh dear Pidus, I probably came across as some sort of Joan Crawford redux. No, no, I don't get to choose what I get accused of :)

Arthur, welcome. If only he thought so. To him it seems like there are too many birds chirping on the electric wire and not even one in the sack!

Sigh, I can't even indoctrinate my own friends. But I'm the weird one here, most people take great pleasure in shopping for hours. I guess I'm going through a phase right now where I'm totally sick of the mall and can't wait to get out.

Now Arthur, your signing off as J.A.P. is causing some confusion here. You see, there is someone else who goes by the JAP moniker that I already know, so at first I thought you were him.

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Sanity Starved said...

Damage has been done :D

5:58 AM  
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6:35 AM  

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