Monday, March 27, 2006

Red, White, Blue and Gold

Let me not waste space trying to line up the 653 different reasons why I didn't update for weeks. There really aren't 653 reasons, that random number is courtesy my friend Em, his random numbers are never rounded off. One of those reasons was being chatted up at professional seminar by an Indian-American man (I know too many people who hate ABCD, so I refrain from using it). All because he caught me peering into his name-tag in the line for appetizers (yay! free food).

What piqued my curiosity was the fact that he had a Bengali last name, and my odds of running into a fellow Indian, let alone a fellow Bengali at these professional dos are hopeless. So yes, I peered a bit too intently. And soon enough, he walks up to me and introduces himself. I find out that he's not Bengali, but yes, his parents did migrate from India. And then he starts asking me questions, when did I come to this country, what do I do, when am I graduating, what jobs am I looking for. And then finally, most peculiarly "So, are you a citizen?"

Huh??? I'd consider it a bit presumptious to ask a stranger you've met 10 minutes ago what's on their passport. But my brain, trained from years of FOB-ABCD discussions, suddenly hit epiphany. Oh lord, he's hitting on me! And not only that, he wants to make sure I'm not a citizenship-whore by asking what passport I have! "I'm an Indian citizen", I said pointedly. He seemed slightly disappointed. By this time I was plotting my escape. "Mmm....I need to go get some ice tea". Conveniently, my glass had just become empty, and I started darting towards the drinks line. But he had recovered sufficiently by then to hand me his card and make me promise that I'd look him up when I visit his city.

Dude may be tactless, but he's certainly loaded, the VP of a huge bank that has branches all over the US. Unfortunately, I was born without an ounce of gold-digging instinct, so I get to go snuggle up to my boyfriend and earn my own dough. But somewhere there's a paranoid Mr. Moneybags looking for a desi woman who wouldn't screw him (literally and literally again) for his passport. If you're as fed up of grad school and being poor as I am, and believe that the bourgeois should share their wealth with the proletariat (meaning fund their shopping sprees at the Beverly Center), then send me an email and I shall provide contact info.

12 Comments:

Blogger Adagio For Strings said...

and she is baaaaaaack! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! :D! (even before he reads the post!)

9:23 PM  
Blogger Adagio For Strings said...

Ok this one really left me feeling ambivalent about whether to feel bad for you (not really, you can take care of yourself ;)), about him or myself. For him for obvious reasons and for myself...well lets just say, if I dont find a sugar mumma soon I might have to ask you for his contact info...I mean having a sugar daddy wont be THAT bad (will it :o?)

I better stop now before the comment gets any creepier :D

9:33 PM  
Blogger Arthur Quiller Couch said...

Does he have a female version? I'd bite. And have a clause in the pre-nup that says she has to fund my pensione in Vienna.

12:14 AM  
Blogger thalassa_mikra said...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay, Adagio, I'm glad to be back too! And yay again for your comment. You know, nearly all graduate students I know are unanimous in their desire for a sugar daddy/mamma. And the desire is gender indifferent. Yes, we are that desperate!

Arthur, there's probably a 10 year waitlist for the female version. A friend of my boyfriend got propositioned by one such Mrs. Moneybags at a country club. Trouble is, he saw her in her swimsuit and just couldn't motivate himself to be her boy toy.

1:01 AM  
Blogger Rimi said...

...who wouldn't screw him (literally and literally again) for his passport.

I'm smirking like only a condescending proletariat can smirk at such prospects. Quite hilarious, but tell me, why this quest for desi women? In fact, I've wanted to figure this out for a while: what's with the 'marry only desi' hang-up that these Indian-American dudes seem to have? Post (on it)?

4:28 AM  
Blogger Urmea said...

Welcome back!!! Funny post :) and nope I am not volunteering!

9:31 AM  
Anonymous Sanity Starved said...

:D Mr Moneybags indeed!

Funny, yesterday, at a Thai restaurant a middle-aged, obviously rich, American was also having a visa conversation with the Thai waitress. Obviously interested in her, I was sure. But he also asked about her family, how she got visa, if she had sisters (yes!), what about them, that he knew how difficult it was to get visas, etc. etc. The entire topic was about her family and her visa! And that poor girl had to talk on since she was serving him.

It was pure torture listening.

1:40 PM  
Blogger thalassa_mikra said...

Rimi, I guess I'll just go ahead and do so.

Urmi, c'mon, not even for free checking accounts :)?

Sudip, that's just so obnoxious! I don't understand how some people do not understand that it is really bad form to ask such questions of a stranger. But then, some twerps think politeness is encouragement to shoot off their mouths.

7:48 PM  
Blogger wendigo said...

sugar daddies welcome! and i'm bengali, in fact.

2:28 PM  
Blogger Gautam Ghosh said...

Gaah !

That was a weirdly funny post ...

So how did the dude have a Bengali surname and wasn't Bengali?? Dadu was Bangali, so the surname just trickled down?

9:58 PM  
Blogger Red said...

haha. Ok that was really funny.

5:05 PM  
Blogger BidiSmoker said...

Rimi,

If you are wondering why us Indian-americans prefer desi girls, you are selling yourself short. Check out my blog, I've written extensively on the topic. However I am not desi-only, just no white girls.

2:09 PM  

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